Use it On Monday, by Michelle DeRusha
Michelle writes a daily blog about finding faith in the everyday at Graceful. On Monday's she reflects on Sunday's sermon in a weekly post entitled "Use it on Monday." She's nice enough to let us re-post it on Southwood's blog. You can read it here each week and then click over to Michelle's blog for more of her writing.
In Awe of God's Yes
I’ve never been a go-with-the-flow, contented, optimistic person. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a bit disgruntled, prone to negativity and discontent, restless and anxious.
Back in the 18th century I probably would have been diagnosed with melancholia – a little too much black bile.
In the 19th century it would have been the vapors, or perhaps hysteria. I might have been prescribed the rest cure (bring it on, I say).
In the 21st century, of course, my malady is defined as depression and anxiety. I take medication for this. I have every day for the last six years – except for the two weeks a couple of years ago when I quit cold turkey and went all sorts of crazy. We won’t be trying that again.
My point is, I’ve struggled with being happy for pretty much my entire life. I’m not naturally happy. I’m not naturally content. I worry a lot. I’ve bitten my fingernails since the third grade; I suffered from an ulcer when I was in high school. I get tension headaches and eye twitching and irritable bowel and TMJ (shall I go on?) – all products of anxiety.
But (if you're still reading) it’s not all bad news.
I’ve realized recently that what’s impacted my ongoing pursuit of joy and contentment the most in recent years (in addition to the anti-depressant, of course) is the daily practice of thanksgiving.
The truth is – and this is going to sound really basic and more than a little obvious – a person can’t be ungrateful and thankful at the same time. It’s simply not possible to hold both a disgruntled, ungrateful thought in your mind simultaneously with a thankful thought. And so, as it goes, the more thankful I am, the more frequently I consciously offer gratitude and thanksgiving to God, the less inclined I am to be negative.
The act of being thankful has simply created less time, less opportunity, less room for negativity. Gratefulness has crowded out, overpowered, ingratitude.
I know I make gratitude sound scientific and pragmatic, but for me, it is a pragmatic process, because pragmatic works for me. I need an intentional practice, a formula, so to speak, because I am stubborn, and because my brain has been accustomed to working one way – on negative, anxious auto-pilot – for decades. The practice of daily – hourly, minute-by-minute – thanksgiving has retrained my brain.
The intentional practice of giving thanks has broken the cycle of discontent.
I had a revelation during yesterday’s reading of Psalm 128 in church:
"All you who fear God, how blessed you are! How happily you walk on his smooth straight road! You worked hard and deserve all you’ve got coming. Enjoy the blessing! Revel in the goodness! …Stand in awe of God’s Yes. Oh, how he blesses the one who fears God. Enjoy the good life in Jerusalem every day of your life.” (1-2, 4-5, The Message).
In the past, if I'd heard those words, I would have assumed they were meant for someone else. “Yada, yada, yada, whatever,” I would have thought. “Those blessings, that joy, it’s not for me. I’m just not made that way.”
You know what? Yesterday when I listened to the words from Psalm 128 I thought, “Yes.” Yes! Yes! Yes! I am blessed. I walk happily. I revel in this goodness.
And why? Why? Because I am thankful. It really is that simple. I give thanks, again and again and again, for God’s Yes. He rains these yeses on me, day in and day out, in every aspect of my life. And I say yes in return.
I stand in awe of God’s Yes.
Has the practice of thanksgiving changed your life or outlook in any way?
You can read more of Michelle's writing on her blog Graceful.
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