Use it On Monday, by Michelle DeRusha
Michelle writes a daily blog about finding faith in the everyday at Graceful. On Monday's she reflects on Sunday's sermon in a weekly post entitled "Use it on Monday." She's nice enough to let us re-post it on Southwood's blog. You can read it here each week and then click over to Michelle's blog for more of her writing.
Gift after Gift after Gift
I would often lament in the early days of my new faith that God didn’t present himself to me like he seemed to for others. Or that he didn’t speak to me like he seemed to speak to other believers. My faith felt vague. Impersonal. I knew God was there, technically speaking, but I didn’t see him with my own eyes. I yearned for the burning bush – something dramatic and obvious. Something I could see and know; a sign that would prove without any doubt that I was in the presence of God.
After a while I gave up complaining. I concluded that I was destined for a general kind of faith, and I tried to be satisfied with that.
Last March I read Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts. I read it twice actually – the first time because I simply couldn’t put it down; I had to swallow it whole and all at once. And the second time slowly and thoughtfully, with a pen in hand so I could underline text and jot notes in the margins. When I was finished, nearly the entire book was underlined.
The day I closed the book for the second time I began my own list. I bought a cheap notebook at Walgreen’s, laid it open to the first page on the kitchen counter and began to list gifts.
That was the day my faith began to change. That was the day I began the journey toward a real, tangible, specific faith. I didn’t know it at the time, but that was the day I began to know God and see that he was an active, personal presence in my everyday.
Ten months later, I’ve reached number 862 on the gift list as I inch closer and closer to 1,000. I don’t list gifts every single day. Sometimes two or three days pass in which the notebook sits untouched and the pencil lays still. Other days I list three or four or even six or seven gifts at once. Sometimes the kids help, reminding me of what we’ve glimpsed in our comings and goings. Noah will often suggest, “Hey, you should put that in the gift list,” when we’ve spotted something particularly exciting, like the red belly woodpecker at the suet feeder or the tender pink bud on the Christmas cactus.
What I’ve learned in these ten months is that the burning bush I searched for so long, the one I yearned to see – it’s been there all along. That holy ground that Moses stood on? I stand on it every day – in my backyard, in my kitchen, at the office, on the walkway leading to my kids’ school.
In winter light falling on puzzle pieces…
In the magic of humid emerald as frigid wind whips…
In candlelight flickering in the hush of late night…
In the joyful trumpet of amaryllis in first light…
Sure, the God-sightings aren’t always dramatic – I’m not going to argue that a woodpecker is as powerful as a talking bush engulfed in roaring flames. But just because they are small or undramatic doesn’t make them insignificant or any less of a gift.
Honestly, the greatest gift for me in this is just as awesome as a burning bush. After all, who would have guessed that a cheap notebook and a pencil would pave the way to see? Who would have guessed that God, the great I AM, would present himself so consistently and generously in my life, moment after moment, day after day, gift after gift after gift?
God, it seems, has caught my attention after all.
"Amazing!" Moses said to himself. "Why isn't that bush burning up? I must go over to see this." When the Lord saw that he had caught Moses' attention, God called to him from the bush, "Moses! Moses!" "Here I am!" Moses replied. "Do not come any closer," God told him. "Take off your sandals, for you are standing on holy ground." (Exodus, 3-5, NLT)
You can read more of Michelle's writing on her blog Graceful.
I have followed Michelle's blog for many months but this message really spoke to me. Thank you so much for your reflective writings!
Posted by: Kim Moore | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 02:49 PM