Use it On Monday, by Michelle DeRusha
Michelle writes a daily blog about finding faith in the everyday at Graceful. On Monday's she reflects on Sunday's sermon in a weekly post entitled "Use it on Monday." She's nice enough to let us re-post it on Southwood's blog. You can read it here each week and then click over to Michelle's blog for more of her writing.
The Blurt
She was my neighbor, but I didn’t know her well – we made small talk about the weather and our toddlers and the blooming tulips. As we stood chatting on the street corner, I mentioned that my husband was in Minnesota; that he was visiting his brother, who was battling cancer. I don’t even know why I blurted that detail. Like I said, I didn’t know this young woman well at all. But I must have felt desperate with worry and a need to connect.
“Can I pray for you and your family?” she asked suddenly, and even though it's been eight years, I still remember how shocked and uncomfortable I was with her question. I didn’t pray back then. In fact, I was nearly sure I didn’t believe in God. It hadn’t occurred to me to pray for Cary, but here a stranger had suggested it, as simply and easily as if she'd asked for my telephone number. I nodded my head yes, mumbled awkward thanks.
A couple of weeks ago a co-worker poked his head into my office. I knew this person was facing a potentially grave medical diagnosis, and before I even thought about what I was saying, I said to him quietly, “I am praying for you.”
The words that tumbled from my mouth surprised me more than anyone. I wasn’t even sure how it happened, how those five simple words escaped before my consciousness squelched them as “inappropriate” for the office. It seems the Holy Spirit had leapt over the neat boundaries I'd established and moved me to speak, even before I'd realized what was happening.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline. So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord.” (Timothy 1:7-8)
Yes, I’ve been ashamed to talk about God and faith on more than one occasion. I still squirm when someone outside of church asks what my book is about, or what I write about every month in my newspaper column. Often I am afraid of what others might think of me, or how they might judge me for my beliefs.
What I’ve realized after both blurting to my co-worker and reading these verses from Timothy, though, is that I simply think about it too much. The more I overanalyze and overthink these situations, the more awkward they feel, and the more timid and afraid I am to talk honestly about my faith. Yet when I act and speak from the heart, as the Spirit moves me, I speak the truth bravely and without shame.
When I succumb to the Spirit, God speaks through me – clearly, confidently and with abundant love.
Eight years ago when my neighbor asked if she could pray for my family, I’d felt uneasy with the question, but strangely comforted, too. It certainly couldn’t hurt, I’d figured, and maybe, just maybe, it might help. Oddly that prayer from a near-stranger gave me hope in a time fraught with fear and anger.
Two weeks ago, just a few days after my blurted admission, I heard my co-worker had gotten a positive prognosis. Later that same day, I saw an email from him in my in-box. When I clicked it open I found a thank-you note for the prayers.
Have you ever stepped out of your comfort zone to offer a prayer to someone in need?
You can read more of Michelle's writing on her blog Graceful.
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